The day that I signed my lease was such a fulfilling day, I was ready. Moving into my own apartment again was a personal goal that I was ready to hit.
I’ve always been more of a loner type—some days are really difficult for me to put on the mask that needs to be worn, simply to get lost in the crowd. I loved living alone, I missed it. So you can imagine how happy I was to finally be moving back into an apartment by myself.
On top of that, I was damn proud of myself. I had lost my job that previous November and had been trying to build a business the previous six months. To feel stable enough to move into my own apartment again by myself, that made me feel really good—it made me feel really proud.
That morning I got dressed early so I could go to my mom’s house before I went to sign my lease. I had just made the decision to re-do my wardrobe because nothing fit me anymore and I was tired of feeling like the ‘bag lady.’
Feeling ready for a fresh start, I put on my new Billabong dress and platform Ked’s sneakers, threw my journal into my purse and headed out the door.
I was so close to moving into my own apartment, I could taste it.
When I got to my mom’s house, I even took pictures—I felt confident, I felt pretty, and it had been a long time since I had felt either of those things.
“Thank you so much for bringing me home, for bringing me back to my roots… I’m grateful for feeling like I belong somewhere again.”
Those are the words I wrote down that morning as I sat on edge of the flower bed right in front of the leasing office, eager for them to open.
Like I said, I was ready for my fresh start.
As I came out of the leasing office with my newly signed lease, I felt like I was finally doing something on my own. Was it a fancy apartment? Nope, it was kind of crappy to be honest—but it was mine.
Not only did I finally have something that was just mine again, but I was making the most of it. I was grateful for where I was at and the stability I was trying to build for myself.
My perspective was shifting.
I was so used to the familiar, the new, the shiny—but I was learning that isn’t reality, and it sure isn’t reality in 2024. Some of us only have a tiny little piece of something that someone else owns, and we are proud of that.
Now with this new perspective, I was ready to start searching for my personal legend.
