I started what I’ve been calling my ‘healing journey’ back in April 2023. It was a period of immense personal upheaval.
I was grappling with losing my job, my relationship, and my best friend—my dog Gus.
To add salt to the wound, the people I loved and trusted—my family, friends, and former coworkers—were about to betray me on the lowest levels.
It was like my mind knew I would need these words soon. Every word in that speech hit a nerve inside of me in the best possible way.
The speech became a guiding light, helping me navigate through the darkness that was to come.
At that time, the fear of failure loomed over me like a storm cloud. I was petrified of failing. This speech challenged me to reconsider my perspective.
I had to think back to all the other times I had failed. What happened? Failure in the past had redirected me, pushed me harder, and made me find new opportunities. Failure wasn’t something to dread; it had proven time and time again to be my stepping stone to success.
The fear of failing is paralyzing, but if I embraced it and allowed it to redirect me, I would find the opportunities that would lead me to success. Not overnight, good things take time to build.
“Because the chances you take, the people you meet, the people you love, the faith that you have, that’s what’s going to define you.”
The chances you take, the people you meet, the love you experience, and the faith you nurture—these elements shape who you are. So, would I succumb to the pressure of failure or embrace this golden opportunity to try something new and find my purpose?
Reflecting on my experiences, I’ve watched myself grow in so many ways—mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
I’ve watched myself achieve personal goals, and I’m starting to realize that the fear of failing no longer haunts me. Instead, I’ve embraced the perspective of falling forward, taking bold steps toward a future filled with supportive and uplifting individuals.
Well, I’ve found my people. These are the people who cheer me on, just as I cheer for them. These are the people who push me to be better and not give up on myself. These are the people who want me to thrive.
“Never be discouraged, never hold back, give everything you got. And when you fall throughout life, remember this: fall forward.”
These words became a mantra for me.
Instead of retreating into the shadows of my past, where betrayal and manipulation awaited, I decided to fall forward. With each stab in the back, I challenged myself to look at it as an opportunity to grow, to learn, to change.
You can check out some of the things I bought along the way on my Amazon list here.
Until the day came that I realized it was never going to stop, that the plan was for it to get worse. So I chose to pack up what would fit in my car, get as far away as I could, and pull each one of those knives out of my back one-by-one, with the help of my friends.
Trying to create my own form of stability—mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically—has been a transformative experience. I have failed a lot. But I haven’t lost sight of the goal from day one, to do this for myself, to rebuild my life, and create a safe place for me to land on my own. That was and is the goal.
There are still days when I find myself on the ground, struggling to rise. But I’ve come to terms with the fact that this is just reality.
Falling forward means acknowledging the struggle but also recognizing the progress. It’s about rebuilding myself, one day at a time, in a safe space filled with positivity and encouragement.
It helped me see that falling isn’t the end but rather the beginning of a new journey. By embracing failure and taking risks, I’ve discovered a resilient and courageous version of myself.
Because of this speech, I learned who I am as a person. I found purpose. It forever changed my perspective. And for that, I am profoundly grateful.
As I wrap up this series on living with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (cPTSD) and…
Living with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (cPTSD) can be incredibly challenging, but building resilience and…
Living with cPTSD and experiencing emotional flashbacks can be overwhelming, but developing effective coping strategies…
One of the most difficult aspects of cPTSD is dealing with emotional flashbacks. Unlike traditional…
When we think about confidence, our minds often jump to public settings—work, social gatherings, and…
Phoenix emerges like a mirage from the desert, cradled under the watchful gaze of Camelback…